I was going through my old journal last night. What I realized? That constant practice and spunk can take one places. As I flipped page after page filled with tiny graffitis, mood drawings, mind bytes and travelogues I remembered a nine year old girl sprinting to grab paper and pen as Star Movies came on TV. Every sub-title was a self-taught English class for her. Cartoons, movies, TV shows - I did not miss a thing because the learner in me was stubborn. She had to learn to speak and write this language as naturally as the mother tongue.
I was at church this morning when the word "evolve" seemed to nag me. I was forced to bring out my phone from the pocket and record words that came to mind before they would decide to escape.
And so I wrote this:
"There was a time when I did not know the meaning of the word "instant". I did not know the meaning of the idiom "best of both worlds" till Hannah Montana aired on Disney. I remember being explained the meaning of the word "righteousness" by my parents as we read the Bible together. I knew a few words many other kids of my age did not know because books and the dictionary were always my friends. As I turned 15 I decided to start maintaining a journal. I wrote everything that came to mind and feelings I couldn't otherwise express. Flipping through those pages today will undoubtedly turn me hysterical for the grammatically incorrect scrawlings and petty, puny teenage despairs (I mean who goes on and on about high school crushes?!). But I cannot be more thankful for the persistent angst and determination that has brought me so far. If I write a hundred words of sense today it is possibly because of the thousand words I scribbled, as a dreamy teenager, without any rhyme or reason. If the reader connects with each word I write today it is probably because of all the nights I stayed awake wondering what to create next. I'm not sure how many of you have read my first few blog posts, but I'd urge you to do it if you haven't already. Did I make sense to you there? Each word I wrote made sense to me then. But as I read through them now I can spot scads of mistakes. A wrong punctuation here, incorrect grammar there, and the list goes on. I can always go back and delete those posts or maybe even edit them and add a smart touch. But truth is I would dare not do it. I wouldn't dare change the words of a girl who wanted to start a blog and make it big. I wouldn't dare morph uncertain words into seemingly intelligent ones, because those little mistakes were evolving me into a better writer, ardent reader and creator. Those humble beginnings and wise mistakes were preparing me for what is right now. I have evolved and am still evolving and I enjoy that long, wearing process. After all, to evolve is to grow and to grow means giving you more written treats!"
That was one well spent hour at church!
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