When Life Craps on You

I was in a bright blue dress, ready to enter the car, when the crow shat on me.

"Such is life," I told myself as I tried in vain to wipe off what was on my left shoulder. I had to hurry. The function would be over by now. But that hardly mattered to me, ever. I was the last one at any event. Not because I intended to, but because life always seemed to get in my way the minute I put on a nice dress - trying hard to crack the no-makeup look, winging my eyeliner, styling my hair, the problems were endless. But I will not bother you with any of those humdrum details.

What I wish to tell you is that this time, the crow aimed right. During my 26 years on this planet, I have only been shat on by a crow twice or thrice. Of that, it is the first time the excrement fell straight on my shoulders and did not look like it was a quick miss.

Now you might wonder what the deal is here - a bird's faeces?

The answer is that it showed me how life acts when you think you're almost there. A job interview that you almost cleared, a baby that was nearly born, a loved one that could've been saved from that accident, a line of what ifs and maybes. There are things that could've turned out right had life not chosen to crap on us. Nobody knows why things happen - be it good or bad. Like Patti Smith says, "There is no pure evil or pure good. There is only purity." So whether the crow shat on me or missed it by an inch, what had to happen would happen. In this case, I wiped it clean off my dress and attended the event and ate to my stomach's fill.