Why We Need Feminism

I was at my usual book-cafe today, by habit. I had my regulars packed, plus some essential pregnancy snacks - a book, a notebook, pen, sticky notes, plus some pistachios, dates and a fresh fruit.

My reading routine is pretty simple and just like anybody else's. I take time to settle into the mood and scenery of the book if my surrounding is noisy. However, it's a pretty easy slip-in if I'm in my reading nook at home, in my jammies. Considering today was a pretty fast day at the store, noisy crowd continued pouring in. As much as I try un-hearing most of the hoo-haas around I could not help but stare in wonderment at a twenty-something woman screaming, "I don't understand why not being a feminist is a big deal. I mean, you know, (and more boring, monotonous, non-sensical word-bridges). I don't know what this whole furore is about. Feminism, my ass." My surprised stare landed on her pretty late but the minute she caught sight of it she hushed down, whispering something funny into her girl friends' ears. I cared less about the hushed joke or laughter but I was bothered by the strong statement she made. 

It's nothing new guys. Quite a lot of people, I'm sure, ask themselves this same question everyday - why feminism?

I wish the answer was as simple as the lyrics to a Bieber song. I wish I could stop writing and come to you all in person, telling you of all the struggles we face as a result of the biased attitude against our gender, but choose rather conveniently to ignore the truth after meeting a friend and sharing a few jokes about Sunny Leone demanding an HIV test from a co-star to ensure her own fucking safety. I wish feminism wasn't as twisted and complicated as people portray it to be. I wish women upheld their hood and stood rooted in feminism, which is nothing but a call, a cry for equality. 

As a teenager I was aware of the words "Feminist/Feminism" for my mother used them quite often. But I'm not exactly sure how well I handled or understood what it meant. I enjoyed occasional misogynistic jokes with my guy friends, because hearing them say "You're not like the other girls", was an accolade. It made me stand out. When guys laughed at a voluptuous girl's ass I laughed along. I was not that girl who made a fuss and that made me feel good. If there is one stage in life I wish to re-write it would be those days - the days I found it fun to make jokes out of another girl's body, her being. 

But if there is a chapter I would love to read over and over again it would be the last years of my teenage, the time I rediscovered myself. The time feminism and "embrace yourself" made sense. The time I learned to embrace all my flaws and love myself. The time I realized religion, tradition, love and career were not ideas that could be forced upon. They were deliberate individual choices, even if it meant making those choices as a woman. 

Since my transformation for good I have been called pseudo-feminist by people who got their fundamentals wrong all along. I have been called pseudo-feminist by people who hated my gut, by people who felt it was anti-feminist to choose being pregnant before having "settled down. " But you know what I did? I still wrote, I still cyber-preached, I publicly argued about the need for feminism. And here is fucking why we need feminism :

1. Because most people are blinded by wrong ideas of feminism - thanks to half-baked articles and social conditioning. 
2. Because some women continue to suppress other women, like the high school me.
3. Because some men still cannot wrap their heads around women choosing to live, dress, talk and engage in sexual acts on their own accord.
4. Because a woman choosing to be a stay-at-home mom/partner is stigmatised and tagged anti-feminist.
5. Because sexual harassment and rapes are still considered the victim's fault.
6. Because more and more women are encouraged to take up self-defense classes while little or no men are seen making a beeline for 'basic humanity' lessons. 
7. Because standing up for a sexually assaulted male is not considered the "right feminist approach."
8. Because choices like marriage and abortion are something most women are still denied. 
9. Because being a woman and not standing up for each other is like an empire against itself - it eventually brings itself down.
10. Because girls still slide their sanitary pads and tampons into the secrecy of their pockets.
11. Because Lindy West said do. 

To quote a line sprayed onto my college walls - "Feminism is not a bad word". In fact I've never come across a more beautiful word. For to be equal promises a better, bigger, safer future.