A Year That Was
The year is almost drawing to an end. The season of retrospection and introspection is here, and so is the time to forgive and forget. With only 16 days left to kiss goodbye, I reflect on 2015, a year that taught me to love my flaws and embrace change, a year that is still preparing me for a union of two, and a year that made me fall deeper in love with words.
January : Was all about learning to glide and surf on the hardest wave life throws every now and then, this time in the form of choosing a career. It wasn't easy one bit, what with the occasional bouts of tears and self inflicted sorrow and doubt. But the truth is that I made it. You ask how? Just blind faith. Faith in the self and a higher purpose.
February : Was time to take a break and travel. Sun tanned, home sick and broke, I made it back home to the warmth and greetings of the commonplace that family always is. To the secure and the safest.
March : * Was about discovering and unraveling the mystery that "good writing" is all about.
* Self doubt was once more an unsolicited visitor and I let it stay till it slid through my veins like poison and almost mercilessly killed the already shriveling hopes of creating better art.
April : * Decided to let go again of the beautifully haunting solitary pursuits.
* Traveled yet again.
* Ran back to the safe zone, family. Hugged my parents tight enough for the scent to stay on till we met next.
May : Was all about anticipation. A new course, moving in. and of course.. a deep dive into writing.
June : * Came and left me in no time. The (slightly over) thirty days at home was the longest holiday that never bored.
* Journaling became more of a routine than a forced, boring chore. I sought more solace in the power of words and day dreaming.
July : * Uprooted and planted me in the right soil that classics was. More like a journey into the unknown. That unknown territory delighted and mesmerized me like no other.
* Fell in mad love with mother tongue.
August : * Was about embarking on an enlightening search for a part time job. Call backs, no call backs. Rejections and failed talks. The month's experience taught me that there is never a point in life you wish you knew yourself better, than when the prospective employer asks you to talk about yourself.
September : * Was time to travel again. This time on a beautiful pilgrimage to a Buddhist monastery and a formidable trek which I so woefully failed at. The failed trek sent me into a few days of depression and self loathing, at the end of which I decided to burn those which haunted me. I sent the ashes of failure-borne horror down the river of hope only to spring into a life-changing new habit, meditation.
* Writing became more of a serious occupation.
* Depending on a man to tie my laces and hook my bra did not seem to tarnish my idea of feminism.
October : * Turned me 22.
* Once again, back to safe haven and wide smiles.
* Unquestioned subservience and ingratitude were vices I fought all along.
* Old malayalam christian songs fascinated me this month.
* Stumbled upon a travel article by Marcia DeSanctis that made me euphoric. After all its not everyday you come across someone who writes the way you think!
* Landed a bookseller job. The dust and charm aroused me every.single.day.
November : * Was the time to explore a new faith.
* Learned to celebrate small things and build fellowship.
* Found solace in prayer and writing letters.
* Virginia Woolf, Pablo Neruda and Hemingway joined me on daily quests.
* Ended the month with a long overdue road trip.
* Woke up falling in love with the same man everyday.
December is here and now.
* I hope Murakami and Patti Smith will turn out to be reliable friends.
* I hope mistletoes and stockings and shiny gifts will build a December I will always yearn to go back to.
January : Was all about learning to glide and surf on the hardest wave life throws every now and then, this time in the form of choosing a career. It wasn't easy one bit, what with the occasional bouts of tears and self inflicted sorrow and doubt. But the truth is that I made it. You ask how? Just blind faith. Faith in the self and a higher purpose.
February : Was time to take a break and travel. Sun tanned, home sick and broke, I made it back home to the warmth and greetings of the commonplace that family always is. To the secure and the safest.
March : * Was about discovering and unraveling the mystery that "good writing" is all about.
* Self doubt was once more an unsolicited visitor and I let it stay till it slid through my veins like poison and almost mercilessly killed the already shriveling hopes of creating better art.
April : * Decided to let go again of the beautifully haunting solitary pursuits.
* Traveled yet again.
* Ran back to the safe zone, family. Hugged my parents tight enough for the scent to stay on till we met next.
May : Was all about anticipation. A new course, moving in. and of course.. a deep dive into writing.
June : * Came and left me in no time. The (slightly over) thirty days at home was the longest holiday that never bored.
* Journaling became more of a routine than a forced, boring chore. I sought more solace in the power of words and day dreaming.
July : * Uprooted and planted me in the right soil that classics was. More like a journey into the unknown. That unknown territory delighted and mesmerized me like no other.
* Fell in mad love with mother tongue.
August : * Was about embarking on an enlightening search for a part time job. Call backs, no call backs. Rejections and failed talks. The month's experience taught me that there is never a point in life you wish you knew yourself better, than when the prospective employer asks you to talk about yourself.
September : * Was time to travel again. This time on a beautiful pilgrimage to a Buddhist monastery and a formidable trek which I so woefully failed at. The failed trek sent me into a few days of depression and self loathing, at the end of which I decided to burn those which haunted me. I sent the ashes of failure-borne horror down the river of hope only to spring into a life-changing new habit, meditation.
* Writing became more of a serious occupation.
* Depending on a man to tie my laces and hook my bra did not seem to tarnish my idea of feminism.
October : * Turned me 22.
* Once again, back to safe haven and wide smiles.
* Unquestioned subservience and ingratitude were vices I fought all along.
* Old malayalam christian songs fascinated me this month.
* Stumbled upon a travel article by Marcia DeSanctis that made me euphoric. After all its not everyday you come across someone who writes the way you think!
* Landed a bookseller job. The dust and charm aroused me every.single.day.
November : * Was the time to explore a new faith.
* Learned to celebrate small things and build fellowship.
* Found solace in prayer and writing letters.
* Virginia Woolf, Pablo Neruda and Hemingway joined me on daily quests.
* Ended the month with a long overdue road trip.
* Woke up falling in love with the same man everyday.
December is here and now.
* I hope Murakami and Patti Smith will turn out to be reliable friends.
* I hope mistletoes and stockings and shiny gifts will build a December I will always yearn to go back to.
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